Marriage for the Mani People
The Mani social system does not
accept incestuous relationships and is built on the principle of monogamy. When
the children enter puberty, a girl who has started menstruation is considered
marriageable while a boy who has developed facial hair is said to be ready to
take a wife, the parents build a new and separate hut for them to live in.
Before the children enter puberty they are not able to take a wife or be
married.
When selecting a partner among the
Mani the first steps are left to the young people themselves. In the days of
yore, a woman selected her marriage partner based primarily on the man's
hunting prowess. Today, a woman tends to make her choice of a mate more on the
basis of good looks and a modern style of dressing. A young man wearing
sunglasses and jeans is considered more desirable than one not doing so.
However, young people cannot simply
marry once they feel mutual affection for each other and declare their wish to
become a couple. Before marriage and cohabitation is possible, a formal
proposal has to be made and the consent of the girl's parents has to be sought.
Should they oppose the union, the two young people cannot marry, no matter how
much they love each other. In such a case, it would be considered bad form for
the young man to show his annoyance at the decision of the girl's parents.
When a couple has fallen in love, a marriage
proposal follows when the man asks for the woman from her parents. In old days
when monkeys and langurs here
readily available, the parents of the bride used to ask the groom's side for a
dowry in the form of a specified number of monkeys and langurs
for the groom to hunt and catch. Later in the proceedings, he would be
helping to eat his catch at his own marriage feast. In the case of Mr. You, the
groom and the bride went ahead to live together first and later, after having
found the required langurs they called the
woman's parents and relatives to join in a delayed wedding party.
For the marriage party, both bride
and groom don their most beautiful dress. Relatives of both sides sit in front
of the couple as they tell them to live well together and not to fight. After
this session of matrimonial advice, all start eating the monkeys and langurs the groom has provided, leaving no leftovers.
A few days later, relatives of the bride say their farewells and go back to
their own homes.
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